...

I'm gonna have trouble sleeping for awhile.

Whirlwind.

Wow. Just wow.

Crap load of things happened since the last post. And by crap load I mean wowwhatjusthappenedhowdidthiseven.

To be more specific everything came crashing together in a span of a few days. Till this day I can't even comprehend how and why. It even happened a week before my exams. Of course.
My life has drastically changed ever since then. Mostly good. Still messy in some aspects though.


I just hope that everything works out.



Please let the rest of the year be smooth please please

It's been how long...?

Now I know why people go for rebounds.

Sigh.



I'm just so used to someone being constantly there for me. Now I don't have that someone anymore.

The art of crafting

A quick thought post.(EDIT: I wrote this some time ago, only deciding to post it now for some reason)


I realize that making these polymer clay charms really mean so much to me personally. I don't remember how I first started out. Probably because I saw some stuff on Deviantart or Youtube, and also because I love small cute things. 

I think the main reason would be that I can make things that I want to have, and often such small charms cannot be easily found/bought. Each charm I make is (needless to say) handcrafted, unique and special to me. 

Charms that I make are usually of things that I love- games, characters etc. Occasionally I make the things that 90% of the polymer clay community makes- food, flowers and other typical things, but when I make these, I don't really have as much feels from them. When I make something I really love, the sense of pride I get is really nice.

I did it, I made this, and no one else can make it exactly as I did.

I am a perfectionist when it comes to making them, which can be either a help or a hindrance. I've crushed up work because of this. Some smaller details which people may not bother with I must get it right. Usually my work is replicas of existing things. Those can be quite painful to make because 95% of the time I will OCD and make sure all the details are up to my horribly high standards.

Even though I said it can be horrible, sometimes it just calms me down

(Omg the companion cube was so hard to make because of this. If you stare at it, you can see how the shapes are like, howthehellamIsupposetomakeitperfect.)

Most of the charms I make I end up giving away (I'd say about eh ~70%?) , well, because I usually make them as gifts lolol. But these charms are extra special because the inspiration comes from the person, and each the charms I make are tailored to mean something special to them (at least I hope it does lol). 
Actually, the charms that I give away are those that I love the most, and I'm extremely happy giving them as presents. 

I think I still have a lot of room for improvement, like learning new techniques/tips. When I look at the other polymer clay crafters it's just amazing how their works turn out. However like most of my hobbies I probably won't get too serious about this. 

I kinda want to though.

One of my most prized clay creations. Companion cube <3

Just late night thoughts about me and polymer clay 

Post-Valentine's Day

Things are getting to me.




I told myself to stay strong.

Study Timez

 

BACK TO SCHOOL.

Now the time to start wearing my nerd specs and putting books on my head and get fat from doing nothing but eat and study. Cause school is starting has started. Should be in serious study mode now but I'm still in my holiday gaming mood. AARrrghhhH.

I wanted to make a new years resolution post with Shizuka comic but LOLolollOL. My best friend procrastination is back. New years resolutions don't have to be made at the start of the year right?

I shall state a few of my goals here in case (and most probably) I end up not doing that post.

1. More Shizuka/drawings in general. (I would say so far so good but I should be drawing more)
2. Keep up with readings for school (Currently failing, but my excuse: still in the process of getting my textbooks)
3. Craft more. (I actually miss doing crafting.)

Note that these are only 3 of the not-sure-how-many goals I made. Also, 2 of the 3 are (best) done late at night like 3AM in the morning. Like the time it is right now. I'm not even sure if my English is grammatically correct/ coherent. I keep getting distracted. Listening to songs. What am I doing .__.

I should sleep.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013

ITS 2013!!!

Shizuka wishes you Happy New Year too. He made the banner itself ( quite messily I must add). All the best for the new year and wish everyone good luck and good health.


Went out with the guys last year and it was fun. Hilariously so. Drunk people are so amusing, especially when they're happy drunk. Should go drinking again but preferably at someone's house where its safer to keep and eye on people lol. The role reversal was amusing.

Anyway planning to make some New Year's resolutions that will probably not be fulfilled. But we'll see.

Construction

Arggh.

The neighbors upstairs have been doing construction. It sounds like they are redoing their floors or something. Started last week and its been going on Monday to Friday from 9am till around 4pm. 

CURSE YOU.

Seriously ruining my holidays. I can't game/do anything properly cause its FREAKING LOUD. Stupid neighbors upstairs didn't even warn us. I can't even sleep in because it wakes me up. Even worse now because I'm actually falling sick asdfjaksjdfhla;isu. I needz my sleepzzzzz.

On a side note, first Shizuka I've drawn in awhile. Should make one weekly or something.

Sigh.

Bus rant

I don't know if my hormones are acting up or I was super tired but I was really irritated by this woman on the bus today. Like I wanted to punch her stupid face.

Okay to set the context I really hate inconsiderate people on the bus (who doesn't). Like people who don't move in and block the entire walkway or people who use the seat next to them for their belongings or talking really loudly on the phone etc.

The woman today really annoyed me. So much so that I even drew the situation out. The people in color is the girl and her boyfriend.
(drawing it also to makes me use the tablet)

So basically this woman about 20+ in age was crossing her legs and it was sticking out into the walkway. Like a lot. The bus was really crowded and all the seats were full, and there were people standing at the back (like me). My back was facing her and I kept feeling her platformed, high heeled shoe brush onto my leg. Super annoying. But I gave her the benefit of the doubt and thought that maybe she didn't know that her feet was being bloody inconsiderate to everyone who had to stand.  

Then to make it worse her boyfriend was sitting behind her and at first they were "holding" hands. Her boyfriend's hand is as depicted in the picture. He had his hand in that position the entire time. How they held hands? She just lifted her hand to touch his hand. But obviously it's such an awkward position that she stopped after awhile. His hand just continued to stay there and block people from holding the bar (or whatever you call it).
 
The crowd started clearing once the bus reached Bukit Batok area so there was space to move into the back more. Remember how I gave her the benefit of the doubt? Well, I saw that she CONSCIOUSLY moved her feet to prevent people from tripping over them. "Consciously" as in before they even touched her she shifted her leg. So now it was very clear that she KNEW her leg was blocking and she purposely left it hanging there.

I really hate people who have seats that block the walkway. It's like, you got the privilege to sit so can't you just freaking sit properly and not make it inconvenient for the poor people standing up? You're taking the space of the seat AND the space of the walkway. You're not that fat. At least, the woman was definitely not that fat.

Eventually the woman and her bf managed to sit together because the person sitting next to her got off and she moved in. She moved in, showing that her freaking legs could freaking sit normally and she had enough leg room. I took her bf's old seat.

So maybe this is kinda trivial and you may think it strange that I'll get so worked up over such a small situation. And it's a bit ridiculous cause I'm writing such a long post about it. Well, what happened next was what really ticked me off. 

There was a girl sitting in front of the couple in the inner seat and she was wearing a tudung with a nice shiny brooch pinning it up. Her bf suddenly decided to pretended to hit that girl's head. He did the hand motion and everything

He did it more than once, so I'm sure I'm not just biased.
What. The. Hell. Seriously. Thinking about it is making me angry and disgusted again. Who does that? Why would you do that?! It's so disrespectful. It would be disrespectful to anyone.

And of course they both giggled and she followed suit. She then pretended to 'hit' and 'pluck' shiny brooch off. I'm pretty sure they don't know that girl. I lost all respect for both of them and yes I totally judged them. She had that b*tch face and yes I'm judging. They're both stupid yes I'm judging. Also I could totally see her boobs in that shirt. I'm a girl so its okay. Still judging her.

At that point I really wanted to punch BOTH they're faces and go "WTF are you doing scumbags?!" 

End of semi-pointless rant.

I'm not a morning person

IT'S LATE AT NIGHT AGAIN.
I'M STARTING MY POST BY SHOUTING THROUGH THE INTERNET AGAIN.
YES, I DRANK COFFEE JUST NOW.
Don't judge me.


I've come to realize (not recently) that my sleeping patterns have change drastically. And it's not just because of school starting later either. I can literally stay up until 4-5am in the morning just mindlessly surfing the net and watching YouTube videos. It's not even gaming with other people, or accomplishing something (be it reading a manga finish or actually learning something). It's just me, sitting at my computer staring at the screen with practically no purpose at all.

Okay, to give me some credit, maybe not until 4am or 5am all the time. But if you have nothing better to do/ don't feel like doing anything productive after 12am, then I think what normal people do is sleep. Especially if you're still schooling like me.

Man look at the time now. (It's currently 2:08am)

Then because of this sleeping late, I tend not to wake up in the morning. I can seriously set up 3-4 alarms, snooze them all, and wake up 2 hours later. Someone can even give me a call and I can talk to the person, sound like I'm awake, and fall right back asleep once it ends (I've done this more than once unfortunately). My usually waking up time now is 2pm.

Now that I think about it, this might even happen if I sleep early.

Whats the point of this post? (To be honest nothing actually but) I shall attempt to use some psychological thingamajig and by posting this here, it shall serve as a constant reminder that I need to change this habit. Eventually I will change this habit. Eventually.

- I shall attempt to sleep by 2am if nothing better to do
- I shall attempt to wake up before 12pm (and gradually earlier)

I really need the extra hours especially since work is piling up.
Time to do what I said I would in this post and go back to sleep.

I wanna be a morning person. (kinda)

                            _________________________________________

TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR MORE OF 'PROBLEMS SHERYL FACES'. NEXT UP: PROCRASTINATION.

Whuuuuut?

Okay. Haven't been blogging for so long. AND EVERYTHING ON BLOGGER CHAAAANGEEEED.

I have no idea how to navigate.

Since my last post, I failed to dye my hair red (as expected) but imma try again soon. The worse part of the whole 'dye my hair red' experience was that my hair kept bleeding red for days, and it didn't look red. At all.
Oh well


A whole bunch of stuff happened during the holiday, including camp and renewing old friendships. Camp is over shall not rant about it much. Had fun, met new friends etc. typical camp stuff (with all the stress of organizing and derping around).

On to more important things, been hanging out with the BigBurlyBros (I giggle a little inside whenever I hear the name) and it's been really fun and stuff. Now I have more gaming buddies (awesome gaming buddies) and just bros in general.

Related to the above is my current 'obsession' with Team Fortress 2 (I only started playing because of the guys). It's super fun even though I can be terrible and derp a lot. It's so fun that I stopped playing all my other games (LA Noir, Psychonauts). I haven't even started Assasin's Creed, the game I was previously obsessed about ;__; I'm actually quite sad about this lol I still really wanna play AC.

BUT ALAS SCHOOL HAS STARTED AND SO I HAVE TO CUT DOWN ON GAMINGGGGGGG.

Oh ya me and Vernon's birthday was recent we celebrated at Ryan's place with everyone. And the whole reason for this post is because of my

super
awesome
birthday present.


A friggin Bamboo tablet.

I know it's like super expensive and shit (>$9000) and I seriously didn't expect an expensive present .__. Makes me feel really bad because its so new and clean and the pen is so awesome and sensitive and it has an eraser tool and I'm lacking practice and I can't draw as well as my tablet looks. I really don't think I deserved such a wonderful present cries ;__;

But I have it. Was using it an hour ago and it is soooo goooood.

And with it I completed my really old Soul Eater fanart (that actually doesn't need a tablet to complete but tablet = so much easier and faster).

And so I sincerely thanks everyone who contributed. You guys are really good friends.

On a side note a started crafting with polymer clay and made several nerdy charms which include:
- Portal 2 companion cube
- Drones 
- Balloonicorn < 3
- Hunstman
- Demoman weapons 
Which reminds me I need pictures of them for my reference. 

Okay I'm losing interest in blogging and this post is getting long and random. I'm getting distracted again.

Boredom

Do I have a boredom post? I probably do.

I'm bored. Actually I have loads of stuff to do. Puppet making, T-shirt printing, job finding, stamp making, etc etc. So I shouldn't be bored.

Then again, you can be busy and bored.

Anyways, this post is actually about my hair. Its pretty long now and I'm thinking about cutting bangs again (easy to grow out anyway) and its the school holiday so now's the time for experimenting! I've actually be contemplating dying my hair dark red (I have no idea why though) but I wonder how the effect of it will be. Will I regret it?

Hmm it won't be so bad though. Lets see..

1. I'll get experience of having a not-so-normal-but-still-kinda-acceptable hair
2. Its not that permanent esp. if I'm using the DIY kit
3. If I really hate it I can always dye it black/brown to be Asian again (albeit in a few weeks or months)
4. Its the holidays now I won't have to meet people everyday. I can hide my horrible hair at home (an excellent excuse for staying at home to game all day)
5. What better time to do it before I'm old and socially unacceptable to dye not-so-normal-but-still-kinda-acceptable hair color
6. I can be known as "that girl with weird hair" and later be like 'yeah, I did that once'
7. Wear a hat all day
8. Wear a wig
9. I can shave my head
10. Okay I just wanted to make it to become a list of 10

Okay I have no idea what I'm talking about with the last few points but you get my drift.

My attention averted from this page an I totally forgot what I was going to say. Curses.

Okay nope don't remember.

I'm like 80% sure of dying my hair red. We'll see.

Day 2

Warning: Cheesy post is probably cheesy

Okay. (breathes)
Okay.

Today is Day 2. So far so good. Starting an LDR is of course not easy. But I'm hanging there. Kind of.

I just have too much to handle now, at times the stress is getting to me. Midterms still ongoing, essay due, family, my health and relationship. Been so busy the past week only managed 2 hours of studying to far. Yes, 2 whole hours, during the whole of recess week. That's 2/192 hours. My grades are going to suffer.

God. (How am I to survive next week?)

I still think about how I'm not going to be able to do normal dating stuff for 4 years. Or more. And about whats going to happen after those 4 years. Or more. But I know I need to push all those thoughts away and focus on all the things I have to do.

Of which posting this is not in that list. And I'm procrastinating. [Insert rage face]

(Focusing on the bright side)
At least communication is easier now that I have an iPhone. There's Skype and WhatsApp and Facetime and other new fangled technological stuff. And I'm not giving up just yet.

So this is Day 2
(sigh)

.

When Steve Jobs dies, its everywhere. When Dennis Ritchie dies....

wait who?

A Poem.

I looked at my calendar in dismay
It certainly didn’t make my day
It’s filled with tests and quizzes and such
I really hate it very much

To make it worse I woke early today
And took the bus on time hurray!
But alas, when I reached my school
Realized I was such a fool

I entered the classroom at 9.50
Only to find it completely empty
Whipped out my timetable to look at it
Eleven it said, I threw a fit

Damn I suck.

Stamps

I bought a new stamp today :D

And it's a cat.

I love stamps <3

Assassin's Creed and other stuff

Currently obsessed with Assassin's Creed II. Or, I was obsessed with Assassin's Creed II. But I FINISHED IT BOOYA. And to think I restarted the last part so many times thinking I had to be sneaky, only to find out, that you weren't suppose to avoid that big crowd of guards, you're suppose to kill them all. Good game nevertheless.

I haven't blogged in ages (and i'm trying to blame it on Assassin's Creed) but its not cause of some game or work, although they do play a big part.

I've gotten Lazy D:

Haven't drawn Shizuka in a long time. So much for weekly updates eh?

My current reason for not updating is cause my computer was just sent for repair (curse you dead pixels!) BUT I now resolve to update more. (even though university is starting and all that). I think i just need a motivation to slack off. Its like how you always have this urge to do something when you're actually getting boring work done (i.e. school, homework, tuition, project etc.). Or even when the work isn't boring *cough cough comic cough* it does get mundane after awhile. Is there some name for this phenomenon, or is it just me?

Eh.

I also kinda realise how I never really accomplish anything I start, like ballet, piano, ukulele, and various comics. Its been months (years for the first one) since I've touched any of those.

Maybe now that I have 2 hour breaks between classes I can come out with something more, either by blogging in words or drawings (that is, if I don't get swarmed with project and stress ohgod).

Or maybe I should be focusing on my studies and forget about the rest of it (except Maestria).

Oh life.

In view of recent events

Lets all pray for Japan.

Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea

Okay. okay wait.

I just watched Ponyo. My mind is in confusion.

For those who haven't watched POTCBTS (lol), here's a quick summary.

First scene- weird ocean guy. Has magic bottle stuff. Red thing escapes HIDING UNDER JELLYFISHES. (Wheres the stinging??)

Theres a little boy named Sosuke. Who calls his parents by first name (who does that?). He finds the red thing stuck in a jar, thinks its a goldfish, saves her, and names her Ponyo.

A weird little goldfish I might add. Why is it a goldfish anyway? It just looks like a chibi wearing a giant blanket and she forgot to cut holes for her arms.

So anyway like any little kid who finds a new PET, he wants to protect it and brings it to school.

After Ponyo spits on a few people, they get mad, he gets scared, and runs to hide under rocks. Then the ocean guy takes Ponyo back and Sosuke becomes sad.

After a series of events, Ponyo escapes, unleashing all evil around her, becomes human, and tries to drown the entire town in her effort to chase Sosuke. In which she suceeds. And all of a sudden, giant ocean lady appears and says that Sosuke and Ponyo's love is the only thing that can save the world. The indication of the world in danger being the moon inching closer and of course ALL THE FREAKING WATER THAT DROWNS THE TOWN.

Anyway, things cut short, Ponyo becomes a fish, and Sosuke gets told about how he's the saviour. Ocean lady fixes everything, and Ponyo becomes a girl forever. The end.

First of, the storyline is weird.

Secondly, NO ONE freaked out about the drowning town.

Thirdly, your son tells you that the fish he caught earlier is now a girl and YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?

Fourthly, wh-wha?

In conclusion, don't watch POTCBTS unless its for free and only to see how confusing it is.

Guh. My brain.

It's Over

(Just a quick side note, yeah I shouldn't have ordered iced mocha at night eeeeeh)

I wanted to post about stuff like this yesterday, but of course, laziness prevailed and I ended up sleeping. But since I have sufficient amount of caffeine in me and I feel completely awake at this late hour why not blog?

Yesterday I was feeling scared about my results. I started worrying about what almost every other kid in my situation was worrying about- results. And of course, I started thinking about the worse case scenario for it which is basically what happened if I got bad results. Of course I started thinking about ways to kill myself but then I thought, my grades don't define my future.

True, we now live in a generation, especially in a country like Singapore, where it seems like results define who we are. Get bad grades= you suck, get good grades= well, good grades. But then I thought, no I definitely do not suck. Then I started thinking about what I could do.

First of all, one option of mine was to take SATS and see where they take me. Try for a Uni. Take a break year, retake Alevels, see if I can go overseas to study, work part time to pay for it. Secondly was to continue piano, become a piano teacher. Follow in my mother's footsteps and be a flight attendant. Third was to hope that everything went right.

My heart broke today for my best friends. But what I want them to know is that results aren't everything and there's always a way to pull through. You're not useless, not stupid, and you definitely don't deserve it. In other words to be clichéd, When there's a Will, there is a Way.

So go ahead and cry today, or even tomorrow, but always remember that there's more to you than that. Please just keep trying and don't give up. I know if the opposite had happened you'll tell me the same thing too.